Dallas Dreams & Jersey Realities

It's past 1:30am and I'm online looking at curtains.

I have to be up in four hours to go to work and while my body is exhausted, my mind keeps buzzing around with thoughts of all these things I need to do. I need to buy some curtains. Like now.
I need to make this house a home. Well it's an apartment but you get the point. I've been here for seven months and I still don't feel like it's my home. I've still got boxes of things sitting in closets patiently waiting to be unpacked.

My heart hasn't moved in yet. I exist in this space called New Jersey but I don't live here. My driver's license has been changed over, even my car has NJ license plates but still I don't live here.

I catch myself saying things like "When I was at home we used to..." and then I stop myself and hope I haven't offended him by still not feeling like this home, his home...is my home. I can read that look in his eyes sometimes when I complain again and again about the traffic, loud ass sirens, cold weather, rude people and expensive real estate. The look that says ...Seriously? It's been seven months.

So now it's almost 2am and I haven't found the curtains that will cover up my view of NJ. I look out of my window and all I think of is...

I miss Dallas. So. Much.